Ki and Ka Review: 90 minutes of R Balki trying to sell you products

Director: R. Balki

Actors: Kareena Kapoor, Arjun Kapoor

Running Time: 90 minutes

Rating: Half *for Amitabh and Jaya Bachchan*

Pune: ‘Ki and Ka’ directed by R Balki was released today, a movie which is made for advertising the products with perfect product placement. Basically, R Balki made this movie promote Nestle, Lufthansa, Saffola and Lakme and other products.

R Balki has been known for making movies with social issues, which he displayed in movies like English Vinglish, Paa and Cheeni Kam, which also is the reason I decide to go for this project, which also lead to a headache.

The lead role is Kabir which is played by Arjun Kapoor and Kia which is played by Kareena Kapoor,  the story is made to break a stereotype that a woman can be bread earner and a man can handle the house.

10 minutes to movies, the couple falls in love, with no signs of any love what so ever. 15 minutes to the movie they get married, well have you ever seen a movie in which a mother is so so cool that she asks her daughter and son-in-law on their faces if they had sex or not ??? and later explaining that it’s important for commitment.

20 minutes to the movie she gets pregnancy scare, which needed to be checked 5 times because ….. who cares to see a doctor, you can just get 6 different brands to decide and play positive-negative till the time the most number of negatives or positive will the winner.

25 minutes to the movie jealousy emerges, 30 minutes to the movie insecurities occurs, 35 minutes to movie financial crisis occurs and then it’s intermission, calm down people. That is first half for you.

We have made it to the second half.

The second half  is followed by distance relationship between husband and wife as she goes for a course abroad because showing distance is mandatory in movies dude.

Kabir trying to earn some money by keeping workout sessions for plus size women in the society. By the way, he makes them realize it by taking a picture in an app and turns out all women in the society plus size. Now that’s stereotyping women.

Kia’s mother falls which makes them realize that they love each other. By making one of the family members escape death is a way to make protagonist realise the mistake. Get over it Bollywood.

And of course, we have Amitabh Bachachan and Jaya Bachchan in the movie, because who else will save the movie? They appear for only 3 minutes, which is the only mode of entertainment and acting in the movie.

Kabir’s obsession with trains is scary and only if we did not have to see trains every time the couple is sad, happy or are intimate. Kia has spent more time in flying in Lufthansa than with Kabir.

It follows with amazing number scenes where they get to preach about gender equality and then make out after that. Kabir wearing the mangalsutra around his wrist is the moment you might lose your calm.

The music of the film will check your patience, basically, your torture bearing level.

It is a movie where R Balki has tried to sell products rather than sending a message. Makeup and lighting setup have failed to hide Kareena Kapoor’s facial hair and Trains have given better emotions than characters, and the two major way of transport are  Airplane and a Hoverboard.

Rather go for ‘that’ Kit-Kat break than for this movie.

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